![]() “To me, queer is a way of life, not just a gender and sexuality label," Jay X, 20, tells me. It's why I feel as though "queer" has become a label to mean many things not limited to sexuality. ![]() I feel it is inherently queer because it deviates from the default - monogamy - where people are expected to hold one romantic relationship at a time. It allows for flexibility as I continue to grow in my relationships with myself and others.” Queerness as a way of lifeĪs a polyamorous person, "queer" encompasses yet another part of my identity - a relationship style I ascribe to as someone who believes that my love is limitless and that I can love more than one person at a time. "For me, it means a sense of freedom that words like 'bisexual' and 'pansexual' do not allow. "'Queer' is all-encompassing yet ambiguous," they say. Tye Nicholson, 29, meanwhile, embraces the term. “I haven’t used the word 'queer' to describe myself for a long time - the struggle we felt at that time is something I don’t want to be reminded of,” explains Ione (who requested her last name not be used), in her 60s, who lived through years where she, and many other LGBTQ elders, experienced severe queer-related hate crimes. But I also recognize that I’m a white woman in my 30s who hasn't lived through queer oppression in the same way that many people in our community have. Personally, I love calling myself queer because taking back ownership of a word and changing the narrative around it in a positive and joyful way is awesome. This content is not available due to your privacy preferences. “By co-opting the word 'queer,' QN claims, they have disarmed homophobes," according to a 1991 article in Newsweek, which also pointed out the rise of a popular protest chant that's still in use today: "We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!" Queer has now been widely adopted by people across the LGBTQ community. In a movement led by people of color in the late ’80s, through the activist group Queer Nation, some people started to reclaim the term. However, its usage started to decline once the two binary sexualities, heterosexuality and homosexuality, really embedded themselves into society in the 1940s. Over time, queer became used to describe people who deviated from societal norms in terms of gender and sexuality and, by the 19th century, it had become a term used to describe gay and/or effeminate men. “Counterfeit money was 'queer' someone who is sick might say they 'feel queer' playground bullies would call someone 'queer' without knowing or intending any sexual connotations.” “Since it first showed up in English about 1513, 'queer' has always meant something not normal, something peculiar, something odd,” writes Merrill Perlman in the Columbia Journalism Review. Now I self-describe as queer, but it took me 35 years to feel comfortable doing so. I was a latecomer to realizing my queerness, but as time passed and queer community formed around me, I felt emboldened to stand in my identity. I was oblivious to the complex politics surrounding the term and why, to this day, it’s not a word everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community is comfortable using, irrespective of how secure they feel in their gender and/or sexuality. Growing up identifying as a heterosexual girl in the ’90s, "queer," to me, seemed like a word to describe those on the fringes, people who didn’t "get" life a synonym for "sad" or "weird." It was a label that had a bad rep, and in my desperate desire to fit in, I didn’t want anything to do with it. The term "queer" has too much baggage for some - and just the right amount for others, notes the author.
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